We’ve all heard the well known saying; it takes less effort to smile than it
does to frown. The world of the internet has recently been introduced to a
British woman who seems to disagree.
Tess Christian of London, England has created a buzz in by taking facial muscle preservation
to the extreme. By building up a mastery of her facial expressions, she has given
up smiling completely.
This report definitely has shock value. Ms. Christian tells us that she began controlling her facial
muscles about 40 years ago, and she has been pleased with her consistency ever
since. Despite her unusual life-style choice, she did marry and give birth
to a daughter. She says that while she was very happy at both of these
events, she did not smile at either one.
Tess isn’t shy about her odd conviction.
She plainly explains that her intention behind smile-deprivation (never thought
I’d use that term in a sentence) was to remain youthful and avoid wrinkles. She
says:
“Yes, I am vain and want to remain youthful. My strategy is more natural than Botox and more effective than any expensive beauty cream or facial.”
Is it a little weird to nix smiling
from your whole entire life? Sure. But at least she’s being honest.
I think that it’s one thing to
look at this situation from a
perspective which only recognizes the vanity
behind the actions of Tess. That’s self-proclaimed, after all. But the
conversation gets a whole lot more interesting when we explore the implications
of smiling and the effects of smiling (or not smiling).
And so, on the subject of
‘smile-deprivation’, I’d like to propose a critique to Tess.
Now personally, I wouldn’t peg myself as one
of those perpetually cheerful people. You know - the very positive person, the
morning person, and so on. In fact, I’ve been told that when I’m
really quite peeved, I have mastered the art of the ‘death glare’. But all in
all, I’d say that I pretty much experience the standard emotional roller-coaster ride of
fluctuating highs and lows.
I could easily try to justify a
negative attitude by telling myself that I’m just not one of those super
cheerful people. It’s more of a personality thing. Its my character.
I mean, sometimes I feel happy
and sometimes I feel sad. I wouldn’t say that I really take much notice of the
physical arrangement of my muscles as they follow my mood. I just don’t really
have time to be constantly concerned about what my face is projecting to those
who see me. After all, sometimes I’m just having a bad day, or maybe I just
want to be in a sour mood. If somebody doesn’t like it, they don’t have to look
at me, right?
Not really.
Tess, what your story has brought
up for me (rather uncomfortably so), is that like most post-modern individuals,
typically I would pretty much concur with that kind of talk. It’s easy to
trivialize the importance of our own body language, dismissing if or how our
actions affect those around us, and frankly not caring either way.
But what if indifference about
something as trivial as facial expressions is really still just plain old
indifference? Or worse – what if it reveals an indifference for our fellow
humans?
Nobody likes to have somebody’s
bad mood projected on them. Nobody appreciates being frowned at, or even simply
being ignored.
Our bodies speak the language of
our inner self and intentions.
They don’t, however, always need
to communicate our
feelings. Just because we may feel very strongly a certain
way certainly doesn’t make it appropriate to always act in accordance with
those feelings.
My point is, just because we’re
angry doesn’t mean we have to frown at someone, even if that might be the
natural response that our feelings and emotions are begging us to give in to.
In fact, that’s one thing that can
attach a certain value to smiling. If we view it as a little gift of self, that
might give us some incentive and make it easier along the way. Take it
from Mother Teresa of Calcutta - perhaps the most relevant rebel of the
postmodern self-oriented culture - when she says:
“Every time you smile at someone,
it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”
But maybe in a certain respect,
it’s not even about us. Maybe it’s just the right thing to do. Maybe smiling
isn’t about our own personal disposition, or how much we may be suffering at a
particular time.
If smiling were related to
feelings alone, you wouldn’t find pictures of human beings looking joyful in
situations which obviously don’t feel too great.
Smiling doesn’t have to be a
natural inclination.
Smiling can be a decision.
Although happiness may seem to be
a feeling which comes
and goes, joy can be a concrete choice made by anyone in any situation to
embrace positivity and hope, rejecting the mediocrity and complacency of indifference.
This of course applies not only
to the smile on your face, but to any outward expression of joy that you might
be given the opportunity to express.
Obviously, physically smiling
isn't always going to be called for. Joy doesn’t only reveal itself in a
cheerful disposition, but in any
display of authenticity and good-will. Regardless, it would be a shame to fall into
that rut of numbness to the deepest inclinations of our heart and to your
fellow man, where only a bleak expression can be produced, both spiritually and
physically. Be human.
Feel
sincerely.
Think of smiling as you would any good or
kind deed.
If smiling, then, is an act of
service, a good deed, or simply an expression to others of our own
vulnerability - a vulnerability which expresses the true intentions of our
heart, and our sincere feelings (whether they be happy or sad) - then not
‘smiling’ (indifference) is inward. It broods all sorts of demons, perhaps the
least of which is vanity. Other negative side-effects include contagious
discouragement, brooding self-pity, the victory of the self-centric, ego
obsessed attitude, etc.
I’m not saying that suffering
isn’t real, that tears and sorrow don't have their place in the human
experience, or that we should smile or perform ‘good deeds’ with insincerity to
mask painful feelings; rather, we should smile as an expression of love – a
thing which presses on despite adversity, a transcendent and selfless quality
which is too busy building up positivity to take notice of the wrinkles which
may remain.
No one’s saying you should cheese
it up all the time, (no one’s smile will look the same, that's the fun part
about faces) but once in a while, try to step outside of yourself and shift
your mouth muscles upward.
Tess, a smile is not just a
dispensable human activity.
It's more than that. It's love. Smile at that
stranger. Open up in honest and vulnerable authenticity to a good friend.
Spread the joy to this weary, hurting world. Not only is it actually beneficial
for your own mental, physical, and spiritual health, but it is being present to
people. And that’s human.
To once again quote that
wise little old woman from Calcutta:
“Let’s always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.”
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Liz SteinIn my free time, I enjoy watching YouTube videos of Pope Saint John Paul II, reading, singing, and the stars. I am proud to share a portion of my baptismal name with St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein), because she is one of my heroes. In my post-collegiate life, I hope to be a teacher.
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